This is a new project, writing about myself, that I feel I need to take on since I am no longer working and just really need something to do. I love my family, my children and my wife, but I just am not happy with my life! I feel that I might be slipping a little bit into depression with the way things are going.

 

It has been several months since I walked away from a business I started with a friend some 3 years ago. I found out that my "cough" business partner did something unbelievable and just plain wrong. I felt that I could no longer be part of the business. There was a threat of a law suit and I decided the best option for me was to just remove myself out of the business. Everything was in my name so I forced the other person in the business to take over all responsibilities and I just walked away. I realize now that I had a great business plan just that I went into business with the wrong person! The business is still up and running and I will not mention it here.

The main issue is that I was WORKING daily as hard as I could and sometimes at the detriment of my family relations. I was not spending time with my children and wife and I was, now more so,  pretty stressed out. I had a really tight schedule and plenty of work to do every day for 3 years. During this time I was also a stay at home dad and I was handling my workflow and taking care of the family. What I did not see is that I was only in the house and on the PC. The business was online, lightly staffed and required 12 to 18 hours a day to monitor. I was in the house not walking, exercising, camping, biking, all the things I used to enjoy. I gained allot of weight and you guessed it, developed a pretty serious blood pressure problem.

So now here I am. 60 lbs overweight, taking handful of meds a day just to survive, and not feeling very happy with my station in life. I feel that I let EVERYONE down, most importantly, myself! This is the precipice, that I hear people talk of, where a change must happen. The problem is I am not sure which side I want to slide down. I want to make a change I just do not know if I will make the right decision!

Lots of housework to do today so I have to get off the PC. I am going to try and write everyday to see if I can work through this "thing" that I am going through.